The Reply!

To: Facebook Recruiting
From: Nathan Betzen
Subject: RE: Thanks from Facebook

Dear Facebook Recruiting folks,

I am writing this letter in the hopes that it reaches a real person, rather than some kind of email sorting robot. If you are an email sorting robot, please either disregard or forward on to the appropriate individual. Thanks!

Dear Facebook Recruiting folks who are, in fact, actual people,

I was disappointed to learn that my skills and history do not match the needs of the position of Associate in Corporate Communications within your company. (I was less disappointed to learn that they did not match any of the other positions currently sitting open, as I didn’t apply for any of those other positions, but it is nice to know that someone went ahead and compared my resume to the requirements of so many diverse job postings and came to the conclusion that I was not quite a fit for any of them. That’s tenacity!)

I was disappointed, but certainly not surprised. I have to assume that approximately 10,000,000 people applied for the very job that I did. When dealing with an absurd number like that, particularly in a down economy, you must almost certainly be sorting through Harvard and Stanford graduates, geniuses in the field of brief message forming, and/or avid rock climbers. As I am none of these things, I had to have started at an immediate disadvantage.

Nonetheless, I am grateful that you took the time to send me a message letting me know I was out of the running. And, once again assuming I am talking to a real person, I hope to hear from you in the future.

Sincerely,
Nathan Betzen

P.S. If this really is only an email sorting robot, I hope you don’t take offense at my casually ignoring your feelings. You did an excellent job sending your form letter!